Just go with it
Some days you just have to go where the words take you, this post was going to be all about my two cohorts and I kidnapping Norman Reedus (with the Boondock Saints accent of course), Dane Cook because he is kind of hot and can be funny when he isn't being a jackhole, and perhaps Kevin James (the man may not be much to look at but he is funny as shit). Then the day went on and my brain took me other places so just go with it please.
There have been a lot of things, some important some not so much, bouncing around in my head the past several weeks. I have been feeling overwhelmed by school, even though I love it, by work (because my boss truly is the weirdest person I have ever met), and by life in general. I have been feeling inadequate in a lot of ways. Like I'm not measuring up, not to anybody else's standards, but to my own. This a long with a plethora of other things has been weighing on me. I feel itchy, you know that feeling you get when you are ready to get going but your life just isn't quite there yet. So I pace, a lot, and I feel out of sorts. I want to be through school, I want to have gotten aces in everything, I want to have a thriving business. I crave these things, but life at the moment just isn't ready for these things, perhaps because it knows I am not ready for all of those things, even though it feels as though I am. I am hoping that this "feeling" passes, and I can settle a bit. I have decided to just relax and go with it.
Something else that has not only been weighing on my brain but also my heart, is financial crap. Any single parent out there, and a good deal of non-single parentals know exactly what I mean with the financial "aww shit, how am I going to make it to payday". Well friends I'm NOT making it to payday, and this is a major problem. So it is with great unrest, because I love you all (all 3 of you that actually read my blog), and I don't want to disappoint you. But momma's got to pay the bills, and hard as I try, Integrity apparently doesn't have much monetary value. I have never been a give-away blog (no Christina, your give-away doesn't count cause it's funny as shit), or a review blog (not sure who would want to sponsor anything on my wittle bitty blog anyway. But apparently there is......shocking, I know. I feel kind of like a sell-out, I do, but here in the near future there may be popping up the occasional sponsored post. I apologize, but I gots to pay the bills. I hope you will still love me in the morning. Just go with it, please. :-)
In other news, once this whole A to Z Challenge is done I will be starting a word a week Blogapalooza. I realize that I truly do need something to keep me on this blogging track, because I have so enjoyed the evolution and feeling of writing so much. I will be setting the first word a week or so after the challenge ends (I will need a break) on a Friday, and I will have the post up by the next Friday, with the next weeks word. It will be any word, I may just throw darts at the dictionary, who knows, and the posts will be all over the place I'm sure. How that word makes me feel, what I think when I hear it, or even what it means to me, depends on the darted word I guess. If anyone is interested in taking part in the fun, a weekly post WILL NOT be mandatory, you can jump on and off the train whenever you like, please email me with any word ideas you may have that you think would be fun bloggy words, and if you might be interested in taking part. Even if you don't participate you can send me suggestions (please do). I will have a badge made up closer to time. I think it will be fun, so pass the word if you like.
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Holidays are Hard and I'm a Hypocrite
First of all I would like to point out that I used not one, not two, but three words that start with the letter of the day. I'm doing the funky chicken as we speak, why you ask, because in my world, which is the coolest of all when it wants to be (other times it's a real bitch) that totally means I get a triple letter, triple word score worth at least 6,000 points (don't ask about my math, it's Angel's world and that's just how we do things here) which means I should totally get the next 4 or so days off, right? No? Well shit, if I'd have known that I wouldn't have thought all day on such a bomb diggity title. I went there.
Anywho, onward and upward with today's fabulous post. Holidays suck when you're single. And I don't mean mildly like "aww look what what's his nuts got what's her face. Wish I had someone like that". No no friends, I am talking the full on, maybe I should just take my kid and live in Siberialaska, all alone so I don't have to see shiny happy, loving, couples ever, ever again. Did I mention never ever. Oh and here's where the Hypocritical me comes out. I don't want to be in a relationship, I mean I know people say that but deep down they are all ooey gooey and just want that special someone to "complete them'. This is decidedly not me, trust me, when I say I don't want a relationship, I really and truly don't want a relationship. No kidding. I have known for a while that maybe, just maybe my OCD behind just isn't relationship compatible, maybe I missed an "I give a shit what you think" update along the line or something, who knows. What I do know is that for me to actually give a rats bahookie what you think, it takes work. Work that, honestly, not only do I not have time for but really just don't care to make the time for. So I am a hypocrite, I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem. I don't want to worry about someone's "feelings" or what they would think if I did whatever it is I'm planning on doing, which by the by I would probably do anyway because I am just that chick. On that note though, and this is quite possibly the most ridiculous feeling I have ever had, ever, I crave something that I don't even want. How messed up is that? To want someone to put you first and do special stuff for you, but at the same time just not want it at all. I kill me.
My dating ad would probably read something like this:
Wanted: Gorgeous, well-built man, 6'1 or taller. Dark hair, light eyes. Open to sleeping in a separate bed, because I don't particularly like to share my space. Sex when I want, if you bug me about it trust me I can go longer than you (and if your not a freaking stallion, don't even bother). If you're needy stop reading now, emotionally unstable you stop reading too (two emotionally unstable people together, bad combo). If you made it this far, hey good for you. Must have a car, a full time job, and seriously, no mommy or daddy issues - instant deal breaker. If you fit this, and I mean all of it, please call - 555-555-5555. If not oh well, maybe there's a clingy chick waiting by the phone for ya.
See what I mean, I'm better off just being single, I think it's safer for everyone. Hope you had a good Monday. Stay tuned for tomorrows A to Z Challenge post.....If I Ruled the World. Trust me you don't want to miss this one. :-)
Anywho, onward and upward with today's fabulous post. Holidays suck when you're single. And I don't mean mildly like "aww look what what's his nuts got what's her face. Wish I had someone like that". No no friends, I am talking the full on, maybe I should just take my kid and live in Siberialaska, all alone so I don't have to see shiny happy, loving, couples ever, ever again. Did I mention never ever. Oh and here's where the Hypocritical me comes out. I don't want to be in a relationship, I mean I know people say that but deep down they are all ooey gooey and just want that special someone to "complete them'. This is decidedly not me, trust me, when I say I don't want a relationship, I really and truly don't want a relationship. No kidding. I have known for a while that maybe, just maybe my OCD behind just isn't relationship compatible, maybe I missed an "I give a shit what you think" update along the line or something, who knows. What I do know is that for me to actually give a rats bahookie what you think, it takes work. Work that, honestly, not only do I not have time for but really just don't care to make the time for. So I am a hypocrite, I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem. I don't want to worry about someone's "feelings" or what they would think if I did whatever it is I'm planning on doing, which by the by I would probably do anyway because I am just that chick. On that note though, and this is quite possibly the most ridiculous feeling I have ever had, ever, I crave something that I don't even want. How messed up is that? To want someone to put you first and do special stuff for you, but at the same time just not want it at all. I kill me.
My dating ad would probably read something like this:
Wanted: Gorgeous, well-built man, 6'1 or taller. Dark hair, light eyes. Open to sleeping in a separate bed, because I don't particularly like to share my space. Sex when I want, if you bug me about it trust me I can go longer than you (and if your not a freaking stallion, don't even bother). If you're needy stop reading now, emotionally unstable you stop reading too (two emotionally unstable people together, bad combo). If you made it this far, hey good for you. Must have a car, a full time job, and seriously, no mommy or daddy issues - instant deal breaker. If you fit this, and I mean all of it, please call - 555-555-5555. If not oh well, maybe there's a clingy chick waiting by the phone for ya.
See what I mean, I'm better off just being single, I think it's safer for everyone. Hope you had a good Monday. Stay tuned for tomorrows A to Z Challenge post.....If I Ruled the World. Trust me you don't want to miss this one. :-)
Monday, October 10, 2011
I can't find the off button on my brain
I have been staring at this blank screen for three days now, the blinking cursor taunting me the entire time. Usually I suffer from not knowing really what to post about, not so much this time. There are a million and two things taking up my brain at the moment, and sorting through them is taking a lot of effort. I have at least 5 posts worth of stuff swirling around, choosing one and not letting the one post be all crazy talk and rambles is becoming a source of stress at this point. So I am officially saying screw it, I am going to sit here and type, and if it is jumbled and rambly I'm sorry in advance. Too much going on, too little time to actually write.
Withdrawal is an uber-biatch. I have never gone through it before, I had no idea what was happening to me. Why am I going through withdrawal you ask. Not because I'm addicted to crack or anything, promise. That would actually make sense. Nope, I am going through withdrawal from a medicine that was supposed to help my Fybro. It wasn't overly helpful with the pain, but what it was doing was making me wobbly and kept me in a constant fog. I wasn't really aware it was happening, as I said I was in a fog. When I would feel so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open, even and especially when driving. Oh yeah, fun stuff. I would be driving home and would be struggling to keep my eyes open, fighting to slough off the exhaustion, and every time it happened I would make some excuse. I wasn't getting enough sleep, I needed to rest during the day sometime. I explained it away until three weeks ago. Shit got real bad, real fast.
I was helping a friend at her house, I had been going over there after work to help with getting the house tidied up. The last evening we were there I was just exhausted, I said my goodbyes and went out the back to head home. Guess who fell down the deck stairs, landed on the lawnmower and knocked herself out? Yep, me. I stumbled and it was over, I come to and hear my friend hollering at his girl to call 911. No thank you. I drag myself off the ground, to prove that 911 is by far not necessary, they drive me home and wake me every two hours after. I had a concussion, I knew I did, so I call my mom and tell her what's up and that I am thinking I am not making work. She is LIVID, like I jumped off the damn deck. She's not mad that I fell, that would be ridiculous, she is mad that I decided not to go to the hospital. Oh let me tell you, I heard it for 2 days. Finally on Wednesday I caved and went. Super fun! X-rays and tests and blah blah blah. I have severe contusions on my leg and my brain, a sprained hip, and a pulled muscle in my side, fan-freaking-tastic.
Ok, now fast-forward a few days. I don't need to be told I had no business working, I know this, but I also know diapers don't pay for themselves and until I find a sugar-daddy (holla) or a money tree, momma's got to work. I head off to work, still feeling cruddy but dang determined to make it through regardless. I sit at my desk and can't keep my eyes open, I'm talking I wake up twice without even realizing I fell asleep. I decide to take some good advice and go home. I get in the car (stupid, stupid, stupid), and begin the hour long trek back home. I was SO close! I only had like 5-10 miles to go and I would have been safe. *Sigh* No such luck. Sitting at a traffic light, behind a very nice SUV mind you, I doze off. My foot slips off the brake pedal, and I hit the guy in front of me. Oh Shit, what just happened?!? The guy behind me rams me, pushing me into the guy in front of me a second time, oh it sucked. Police, fire dept, ambulance, everybody comes flooding in, I am being interrogated. Am I drunk: No, Am I on drugs: no, just what I am supposed to be on, the heavier stuff I don't take until I am home. Do I realize that the medication I am on says not to drive: No (Oh I am hysterical). Do you realize I could take you to jail for driving under the influence of a mind-altering drug? Say WTF?!? Mind altering? It's fybro medicine, this isn't supposed to be happening! I am so sorry, I didn't know. What if I had had my daughter in the car, oh jesus I could have killed someone. At this point we are talking full on panic, I am flipping out so bad I think they felt sorry for me. I didn't go to jail, thank goodness. There is minimal damage to all cars, and nobody was hurt. It could have been so much worse!
So long story......... well slightly less long, I stopped taking the medicine. I didn't wean myself, I just stopped. I refuse to take something that does that to me. Now I get to go through withdrawal. Let me tell you, it blows! I had no idea what was happening, I kind of thought I was losing it to be honest. Bone deep pain, no appetite and can't keep down what I do eat, shaky, can't focus, and worst of all there is no escaping it. Nothing helps. I feel like a flipping crack head, I don't want to be around anyone, I just want to hide until it passes. Just the act of getting up and being mom or going to work has been a struggle. I will never, EVER take anything that can do this to me, ever again.
Moral of the story:
Just say no to prescription drugs, or at least make sure you know everything about it before you take them. I thought I had done sufficient research, I was wrong. Don't be me, don't let your wake up call involve the sound of crunching metal.
I don't know how long withdrawal lasts, but I know sitting here writing this has taken me weeks, focusing is a chore at the moment. I will be back around as soon as I can be. Miss my peoples!!!!
Withdrawal is an uber-biatch. I have never gone through it before, I had no idea what was happening to me. Why am I going through withdrawal you ask. Not because I'm addicted to crack or anything, promise. That would actually make sense. Nope, I am going through withdrawal from a medicine that was supposed to help my Fybro. It wasn't overly helpful with the pain, but what it was doing was making me wobbly and kept me in a constant fog. I wasn't really aware it was happening, as I said I was in a fog. When I would feel so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open, even and especially when driving. Oh yeah, fun stuff. I would be driving home and would be struggling to keep my eyes open, fighting to slough off the exhaustion, and every time it happened I would make some excuse. I wasn't getting enough sleep, I needed to rest during the day sometime. I explained it away until three weeks ago. Shit got real bad, real fast.
I was helping a friend at her house, I had been going over there after work to help with getting the house tidied up. The last evening we were there I was just exhausted, I said my goodbyes and went out the back to head home. Guess who fell down the deck stairs, landed on the lawnmower and knocked herself out? Yep, me. I stumbled and it was over, I come to and hear my friend hollering at his girl to call 911. No thank you. I drag myself off the ground, to prove that 911 is by far not necessary, they drive me home and wake me every two hours after. I had a concussion, I knew I did, so I call my mom and tell her what's up and that I am thinking I am not making work. She is LIVID, like I jumped off the damn deck. She's not mad that I fell, that would be ridiculous, she is mad that I decided not to go to the hospital. Oh let me tell you, I heard it for 2 days. Finally on Wednesday I caved and went. Super fun! X-rays and tests and blah blah blah. I have severe contusions on my leg and my brain, a sprained hip, and a pulled muscle in my side, fan-freaking-tastic.
Ok, now fast-forward a few days. I don't need to be told I had no business working, I know this, but I also know diapers don't pay for themselves and until I find a sugar-daddy (holla) or a money tree, momma's got to work. I head off to work, still feeling cruddy but dang determined to make it through regardless. I sit at my desk and can't keep my eyes open, I'm talking I wake up twice without even realizing I fell asleep. I decide to take some good advice and go home. I get in the car (stupid, stupid, stupid), and begin the hour long trek back home. I was SO close! I only had like 5-10 miles to go and I would have been safe. *Sigh* No such luck. Sitting at a traffic light, behind a very nice SUV mind you, I doze off. My foot slips off the brake pedal, and I hit the guy in front of me. Oh Shit, what just happened?!? The guy behind me rams me, pushing me into the guy in front of me a second time, oh it sucked. Police, fire dept, ambulance, everybody comes flooding in, I am being interrogated. Am I drunk: No, Am I on drugs: no, just what I am supposed to be on, the heavier stuff I don't take until I am home. Do I realize that the medication I am on says not to drive: No (Oh I am hysterical). Do you realize I could take you to jail for driving under the influence of a mind-altering drug? Say WTF?!? Mind altering? It's fybro medicine, this isn't supposed to be happening! I am so sorry, I didn't know. What if I had had my daughter in the car, oh jesus I could have killed someone. At this point we are talking full on panic, I am flipping out so bad I think they felt sorry for me. I didn't go to jail, thank goodness. There is minimal damage to all cars, and nobody was hurt. It could have been so much worse!
So long story......... well slightly less long, I stopped taking the medicine. I didn't wean myself, I just stopped. I refuse to take something that does that to me. Now I get to go through withdrawal. Let me tell you, it blows! I had no idea what was happening, I kind of thought I was losing it to be honest. Bone deep pain, no appetite and can't keep down what I do eat, shaky, can't focus, and worst of all there is no escaping it. Nothing helps. I feel like a flipping crack head, I don't want to be around anyone, I just want to hide until it passes. Just the act of getting up and being mom or going to work has been a struggle. I will never, EVER take anything that can do this to me, ever again.
Moral of the story:
Just say no to prescription drugs, or at least make sure you know everything about it before you take them. I thought I had done sufficient research, I was wrong. Don't be me, don't let your wake up call involve the sound of crunching metal.
I don't know how long withdrawal lasts, but I know sitting here writing this has taken me weeks, focusing is a chore at the moment. I will be back around as soon as I can be. Miss my peoples!!!!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Wednesday WTF's
Oh Wednesday, why do you taunt me.
Wednesdays are different from the rest of the week. Wednesday is my Friday, which of course makes it go by at a snails pace. The real difference though is that Wednesdays Lala goes and spends the day with my mom while I work. Lala is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a morning person. This will I am sure bite me in the butt huge when school time rolls around. Anyway back to mornings with my crabtastic toddler. Waking her up is like playing Russian Roulette, you never really know what will happen. You may get lucky, she may pop up and say the beloved phrase, "Hi Momma", but more often than not she doesn't pop up, and she most certainly doesn't say anything resembling Hi.
Morning
Our Wednesday mornings generally go like this:
Me: (In a happy sing songy voice) Good Morning Baby Girl....
Lala: *Rolls over, grabs her blanket and nestles in for more sleep*
Me: (Again) Good Morning Lala......
Lala: *Incoherent mumbling followed by some hand waving and shaking of little red haired head)
Me: (Seriously this could go on forever) Good Morning.......(please note the lack of nickname, at this point 15 minutes have passed and we now have 5 to get out of the house or I will be late for work, again, frustration abounds)
I have been rubbing her back, pushing her hair from her forehead, and trying to gently wake her. Obviously this is not going to work. Time to switch tactics. Lala has a complete, kind of obsessive attachment to her Tinker Bell blanket, and her huge Elmo. So next I take both out of the bed. She raise up on hands and knees and blindly (she still won't open her eyes) feels around for her blankie. When she doesn't find it, the shit hits the fan. Cue the beginning of the wailing siren that will last until I manage to wrestle her into a fresh diaper and some clothes, and she realizes that we are going bye bye.
Fast forward an hour (that's how long it takes me to get to work from where I live, winter's going to be a biatch) she has calmed and is sitting in her seat with some breakfast and milk. All is well.........right up until they come to pick her up (they meet me at work so I don't have to drive out of my way, nice right?). She is all jazzed to see Uncle "Bo, or Jenks, whoever comes to get her, until she realizes that Mommy isn't going with her. Cue the second siren session. I have never been so happy to get to work in all of my life.
Lunchtime
I drive to my parents house for lunch to see my girl and give my family a little break. I get to the house and guess who is passed out cold.....yep, you guessed it, Lala. She, again, sleeps through my entire lunch hour. Want to know why? I forgot to take my laptop home with me. This may sound strange, in fact I am sure it will, if I take my laptop home for lunch she never sleeps while I'm there. If I don't she will sleep the entire time I am home. It is a bit skewed and bass-akwards but that is just the way it is. The kid has radar, I swear she knows when I bring my computer home to do work or get my email cleaned out, or goodness forbid blog a bit.
Lunch is over, and I am sitting at work, missing my chicka. For the record, I was late for work this morning, and then somehow, with no ones help but my own this time, late again coming back from lunch. I am kind of amazed that my boss hasn't canned my behind yet, I mean I think I would probably fire me, lol. Then again that probably explains why I am willing to drive an hour to work when gas is almost $4 a gallon.
This post really didn't have a point to be honest, but I went too long without posting and am either rusty at it, or quite possibly on the losing end of a psychotic break. Hmmm....do you think there is a winning end of a psychotic break? Breakdowns aside, I just really missed talking to all of my lovelies, all two of you. :-D And wanted to share how fabulous my morning was, hehe. I moan and groan but I have a wonderful, very understanding boss (for like the first time ever), and while my child has developed a very strong opinion on what she does and doesn't want to do, I seriously crack up almost the entire time she is having a fit. She is just so little and cute, makes it kind of hard to take her serious you know. I imagine that will begin to piss her off for real at some point, years and years from now, until then I will continue to have a little snicker when after telling her One Thousand Three Hundred Seventy-Five and a Half times to get the hell (not in those words, no angry emails please) off the table, she slides down and gets stuck (not painfully, that is never funny) between it and the couch. Oh the frustration is hilarious.
More and more often now though she is learning to use words to express her frustration, rather than slapping something out of my hand (oh...fun friggin times I tell ya), she now is more apt to shake her head no when she doesn't want what i am giving her. She has learned to say please (the word and the sign, I'm so proud) and point if what she wants something too high for her to reach. It doesn't mean she always gets whatever it is she wants, that is obviously still a work in progress. Lala believes that if she says please it is a given that she will get what she wants. Most times it is my phone, or the computer (hell no!!), or some other something she has no business playing with.
Teaching her that "No" isn't the end of the world is challenging, but I like to think we are making some progress, even if it's miniscule. With the "terrible two's" right around the corner (or in my opinion already in motion) it has become even more important to me to teach her things like hitting the dog because you are frustrated that Mommy said no is absolutely unacceptable behavior. That particular incident only happened once, several months ago, but I was in shock when it happened. I truly believe it was because to the pup's misfortune of being the closest thing to her when it happened. That was also the first and only time she has been in time out. I know every kid is different, and I am by far not an expert by anyone's standards, but I can tell you that my child, my not even 2 year old Lala has never really done anything that would cause me to have to put her in time out. Except that one time of course.
When she is frustrated and throwing fits, it generally means she is overstimulated, bored, tired, hungry, thirsty, teething, or any number of other things that aren't her fault. Don't get me wrong, this girl.....
Has a temper to go with all of her gorgeous red curls. Don't let the innocent look fool you, 3 seconds after I took this picture I pulled her off of this big thing, she had been climbing it all day despite my many protests and trying ineffectively to block the stupid ladder, and it was all out war. She wigged out for at least a good hour. Nothing calmed her, not even my phone, every so often she would pick herself up from where she was laying (she threw herself on the ground, for dramatic effect I'm sure) and try to head back over for another climb. Then the process would begin anew, it was trying, but absolutely hilarious. I don't know about you but watching my 22 month old little try to "run the show" and staging protests, please direct your attention to the picture below for a small demonstration, kills me.
So wow this post kind of got all crazy and long and not even close to what I was originally intending to post about. That's what's great about writing, if you just let it come, most times it is effortless. Which reminds me, I am also working on the rest of my Story, I posted the beginning a while ago, and really truly every time I came back to it, I just couldn't find the right words. Nothing seemed to fit in with the emotion and development of my two characters. I think I am ready to go back to it though, so hopefully very soon I will be finishing it up, or at the very least adding the second "chapter" to a story that, while it is difficult for me to write, has been pushing at me to write it, banging around in my head until it finally beat me into submission. So if you are interested go over and read the first part, leave me some critiques, and part two will be hitting the blogosphere very soon. :-)
That is all for me today, yes I know what you're thinking......Finally! I didn't think she would ever shut up. Haha I hope you all are having an absolutely wonderful week, and that your weekend comes fast!
Heading home to see my Lala :-D
Wednesdays are different from the rest of the week. Wednesday is my Friday, which of course makes it go by at a snails pace. The real difference though is that Wednesdays Lala goes and spends the day with my mom while I work. Lala is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a morning person. This will I am sure bite me in the butt huge when school time rolls around. Anyway back to mornings with my crabtastic toddler. Waking her up is like playing Russian Roulette, you never really know what will happen. You may get lucky, she may pop up and say the beloved phrase, "Hi Momma", but more often than not she doesn't pop up, and she most certainly doesn't say anything resembling Hi.
Morning
Our Wednesday mornings generally go like this:
Me: (In a happy sing songy voice) Good Morning Baby Girl....
Lala: *Rolls over, grabs her blanket and nestles in for more sleep*
Me: (Again) Good Morning Lala......
Lala: *Incoherent mumbling followed by some hand waving and shaking of little red haired head)
Me: (Seriously this could go on forever) Good Morning.......(please note the lack of nickname, at this point 15 minutes have passed and we now have 5 to get out of the house or I will be late for work, again, frustration abounds)
I have been rubbing her back, pushing her hair from her forehead, and trying to gently wake her. Obviously this is not going to work. Time to switch tactics. Lala has a complete, kind of obsessive attachment to her Tinker Bell blanket, and her huge Elmo. So next I take both out of the bed. She raise up on hands and knees and blindly (she still won't open her eyes) feels around for her blankie. When she doesn't find it, the shit hits the fan. Cue the beginning of the wailing siren that will last until I manage to wrestle her into a fresh diaper and some clothes, and she realizes that we are going bye bye.
Fast forward an hour (that's how long it takes me to get to work from where I live, winter's going to be a biatch) she has calmed and is sitting in her seat with some breakfast and milk. All is well.........right up until they come to pick her up (they meet me at work so I don't have to drive out of my way, nice right?). She is all jazzed to see Uncle "Bo, or Jenks, whoever comes to get her, until she realizes that Mommy isn't going with her. Cue the second siren session. I have never been so happy to get to work in all of my life.
Lunchtime
I drive to my parents house for lunch to see my girl and give my family a little break. I get to the house and guess who is passed out cold.....yep, you guessed it, Lala. She, again, sleeps through my entire lunch hour. Want to know why? I forgot to take my laptop home with me. This may sound strange, in fact I am sure it will, if I take my laptop home for lunch she never sleeps while I'm there. If I don't she will sleep the entire time I am home. It is a bit skewed and bass-akwards but that is just the way it is. The kid has radar, I swear she knows when I bring my computer home to do work or get my email cleaned out, or goodness forbid blog a bit.
Lunch is over, and I am sitting at work, missing my chicka. For the record, I was late for work this morning, and then somehow, with no ones help but my own this time, late again coming back from lunch. I am kind of amazed that my boss hasn't canned my behind yet, I mean I think I would probably fire me, lol. Then again that probably explains why I am willing to drive an hour to work when gas is almost $4 a gallon.
This post really didn't have a point to be honest, but I went too long without posting and am either rusty at it, or quite possibly on the losing end of a psychotic break. Hmmm....do you think there is a winning end of a psychotic break? Breakdowns aside, I just really missed talking to all of my lovelies, all two of you. :-D And wanted to share how fabulous my morning was, hehe. I moan and groan but I have a wonderful, very understanding boss (for like the first time ever), and while my child has developed a very strong opinion on what she does and doesn't want to do, I seriously crack up almost the entire time she is having a fit. She is just so little and cute, makes it kind of hard to take her serious you know. I imagine that will begin to piss her off for real at some point, years and years from now, until then I will continue to have a little snicker when after telling her One Thousand Three Hundred Seventy-Five and a Half times to get the hell (not in those words, no angry emails please) off the table, she slides down and gets stuck (not painfully, that is never funny) between it and the couch. Oh the frustration is hilarious.
 |
| Looks a bit like this, this is the "Why can't I have my way" face. |
More and more often now though she is learning to use words to express her frustration, rather than slapping something out of my hand (oh...fun friggin times I tell ya), she now is more apt to shake her head no when she doesn't want what i am giving her. She has learned to say please (the word and the sign, I'm so proud) and point if what she wants something too high for her to reach. It doesn't mean she always gets whatever it is she wants, that is obviously still a work in progress. Lala believes that if she says please it is a given that she will get what she wants. Most times it is my phone, or the computer (hell no!!), or some other something she has no business playing with.
Teaching her that "No" isn't the end of the world is challenging, but I like to think we are making some progress, even if it's miniscule. With the "terrible two's" right around the corner (or in my opinion already in motion) it has become even more important to me to teach her things like hitting the dog because you are frustrated that Mommy said no is absolutely unacceptable behavior. That particular incident only happened once, several months ago, but I was in shock when it happened. I truly believe it was because to the pup's misfortune of being the closest thing to her when it happened. That was also the first and only time she has been in time out. I know every kid is different, and I am by far not an expert by anyone's standards, but I can tell you that my child, my not even 2 year old Lala has never really done anything that would cause me to have to put her in time out. Except that one time of course.
When she is frustrated and throwing fits, it generally means she is overstimulated, bored, tired, hungry, thirsty, teething, or any number of other things that aren't her fault. Don't get me wrong, this girl.....
Has a temper to go with all of her gorgeous red curls. Don't let the innocent look fool you, 3 seconds after I took this picture I pulled her off of this big thing, she had been climbing it all day despite my many protests and trying ineffectively to block the stupid ladder, and it was all out war. She wigged out for at least a good hour. Nothing calmed her, not even my phone, every so often she would pick herself up from where she was laying (she threw herself on the ground, for dramatic effect I'm sure) and try to head back over for another climb. Then the process would begin anew, it was trying, but absolutely hilarious. I don't know about you but watching my 22 month old little try to "run the show" and staging protests, please direct your attention to the picture below for a small demonstration, kills me.
 |
| This is towards the end of a protest, she is beginning to realize it isn't working, lmao! |
That is all for me today, yes I know what you're thinking......Finally! I didn't think she would ever shut up. Haha I hope you all are having an absolutely wonderful week, and that your weekend comes fast!
Heading home to see my Lala :-D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
