Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Quest

I really enjoy this poem, I feel like life is a quest. An ever changing, sometimes hard and steep, sometimes smooth and easy. Speaking for myself, my quest is knowledge, stability, and to be the best parent I can be. I truly hope my need for these things never diminishes, that though the journey can sometimes be rough, the lessons learned are invaluable. I hope I never stop growing as a person or a parent, there is always something to learn, always a better way of doing things, and always someone who knows it better than you to ask for advice. :-) 
 The Quest by Aleister Crowley
A part, immutable, unseen,
Being, before itself had been,
Became. Like dew a triple queen
Shone as the void uncovered:
The silence of deep height was drawn
A veil across the silver dawn
On holy wings that hovered.

The music of three thoughts became
The beauty, that is one white flame,
The justice that surpasses shame,
The victory, the splendour,
The sacred fountain that is whirled
From depths beyond that older world
A new world to engender.

The kingdom is extended. Night
Dwells, and I contemplate the sight
That is not seeing, but the light
That secretly is kindled,
Though oft-time its most holy fire
Lacks oil, whene'er my own Desire
Before desire has dwindled.

I see the thin web binding me
With thirteen cords of unity
Toward the calm centre of the sea.
(O thou supernal mother!)
The triple light my path divides
To twain and fifty sudden sides
Each perfect as each other.

Now backwards, inwards still my mind
Must track the intangible and blind,
And seeking, shall securely find
Hidden in secret places
Fresh feasts for every soul that strives,
New life for many mystic lives,
And strange new forms and faces.

My mind still searches, and attains
By many days and many pains
To That which Is and Was and reigns
Shadowed in four and ten;
And loses self in sacred lands,
And cries and quickens, and understands
Beyond the first Amen. 
I truly am trying to get caught up with the A to Z challenge. My baby girl has been fighting a bad cold for the past week and it has made it very hard to have time to post. I am not quitting, I promise!!!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Mother Theresa

This will be the third time I have tried to post this, and let me just say the third time better be the charm or it's three strikes and Blogger is out. I realize it's free but jeez-o-peets could it at least be semi-reliable?!

I had a much more in depth post about this amazing woman, then the second time it was slightly less in depth, and this time I am sad to say I am too irritated to do much waxing poetic about what a true wonder Mother Theresa was. I am not a religious person, I am spiritual in how I believe, and I imagine I will break into that topic at some point in this challenge. But not being a religious person does not make Mother Theresa any less inspiring to me. What an unbelievable woman, selfless, giving, wise, and such a beautiful soul. I will always strive to emulate people such as her, throughout my lifetime. She made a difference, and she did it every day, because she was love, and light, and in my opinion she embodied so much of what is right in this world. I challenge you to take a moment out of your day and make a difference, big or small, it doesn't matter. Try to effect change. Be an inspiration to someone, give freely of yourself or your time even though you may be tired. You just never know when it may make all the difference. So in the words of one of the most inspiring people I can possibly think of:


Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is costly, care for it.

Life is wealth, keep it.

Life is love, enjoy it.

Life is mystery, know it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.
  


Life is precious and will always be worth fighting for, never forget that!!!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Greatness

First I would like to say, this is my 100th post!! Woot Woot!!

When I was young someone told me that I was destined to "do great things". At the time I didn't really understand. I was young enough that greatness generally meant fame or money, or both. I was old enough though to understand that greatness was an amazing thing, but I didn't fully understand why this person would think I was to do great things. Growing up I never thought much of myself, it was/is something I still struggle with. I don't look in the mirror and think "Oh my, you are stunning", I don't wake up and think "today I will change the world. Usually my first thought in the morning is the same thought I had almost my entire childhood, "just five more minutes" right before I close my eyes and sleep for another ten. :-)

As I have grown, matured, had a child, the meaning of greatness has taken a more solid definition in my mind. Greatness has nothing to do with fame or fortune, it has nothing to do with inventing "the next big thing". Greatness is simple, and we all have the potential for greatness. Greatness to me is having a profound effect on another person or thing. Positively affecting that person, or taking an active role in a cause, no matter if you have money or just time to give. My daughter is, in my eyes, not only destined for greatness she has already achieved it. She has changed my life in so many ways, all for the better, and all extremely profound. I learn about myself everyday I spend with her. The more she grows, the more I grow. She makes me want to be a better person. She gave me the courage to follow my dream, a dream that will undoubtedly lead me to greatness. Not major, headline greatness, but greatness all the same. What I am currently studying, and the techniques I have chosen to specialize in are very specific. The main is to help people, I want to help them so that they can heal themselves, but my specialty will be helping people who live and deal with constant debilitating pain as I have watched my mother suffer for so many years. The kind of pain that keeps you from getting out of bed in the morning, the kind that drives you to depression or worse, the kind that the doctor either tells you it's all in your head (personal experience) or gives you so many pills, with so many side effects that you then have to take more pills to counteract them. That is no way to live.

I plan on volunteering some of my time, once I graduate and have gone through the Oncology massage program, to cancer patients going through Chemo and Radiation. This will be my greatness. Giving of myself, giving of my time, and giving of my heart to help these people lead a happier more pain free life. I have every intention on opening my own Holistic center for better health. I want to offer an alternative to "traditional" medicine. There is a time and place for "traditional" medicine, I truly believe that, I can not mend a broken bone. But I also know that there is a growing place for Homeopathy and Holistic living, and that will be my greatness, that will hopefully be the legacy I leave.

How about you? What is your greatness, big or small? How do you feel about Holistics and Homeopathy? Would you be open to trying an herbal approach rather than just accepting a prescription? I would love to hear your opinions!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Edgar Allan Poe

I love poetry, I have since I was very young. Considered too young by most to even understand it, but I did understand it, it spoke to me. It gave me chills, lifted my heart, made me think, made me dream. I love poetry. One of my all time favorite poets has always been Edgar Allan Poe, I mean really everyone at least knows "of" his poetry. I enjoy his work so much that a very good friend of mine got me his complete works for my birthday one year. Oh I was so excited!! It was one of the most thoughtful gifts I had and have ever received (thank you Angie!). So for E in the A to Z challenge I have chosen to spotlight 1 or 2 of my favorites. It will come as no surprise, they are the fairly common ones, I will be sliding in a few of his lesser known works somewhere else in the challenge as well, along with some Robert Frost perhaps. :-)

By Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
            Only this and nothing more.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
    Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
    From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
            Nameless here for evermore.

    And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
    So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
    “’Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
            This it is and nothing more.”

    Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
    But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
    And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—
            Darkness there and nothing more.

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
    But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
    And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!”—
            Merely this and nothing more.

    Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
    “Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;
      Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
            ’Tis the wind and nothing more!”

    Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
    Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
    But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
            Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
            Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

    Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
    For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
    Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
            With such name as “Nevermore.”

    But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
    Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
    Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
            Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

    Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store
    Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
    Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
            Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”

    But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
    Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
    Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
            Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

    This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
    This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
    On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,
            She shall press, ah, nevermore!

    Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
    “Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
    Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
            Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

    “Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
    Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
    On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
            Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

    “Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
    Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
    It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
            Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

    “Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
    Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
    Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
            Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

    And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
    And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
    And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
            Shall be lifted—nevermore!

By Edgar Allan Poe
In visions of the dark night
       I have dreamed of joy departed—
But a waking dream of life and light
       Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
       To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
       Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream—that holy dream,
       While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
       A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
       So trembled from afar—
What could there be more purely bright
   In Truth's day-star? 
Hope you enjoy them as much as I do! For you: Do you enjoy poetry? Who is your favorite poet?

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dear Serenity

Oh my girl, there just aren't words powerful enough to express what you mean to me and the profound way you have changed my life. Look how far we have come since that first night together.


You were perfect from the very beginning, and you have grown more beautiful with each passing day. Every day you make mommy laugh, and remind me that there is so much more beauty in life than ugliness. You are the heart that beats in my chest


The blood that pumps through my veins


You are silly and the sweetest little girl I have ever seen


You are and always will be Mommies little princess


My dreams for you are very clear, I want you to be happy Baby Girl, no matter what. Dream, always dream, and never let anyone take them away from you. You can be anything you want to be, a doctor, an artist, a million things. Follow your dreams, follow your passions, and mommy will always be there to help you, hug you, and lift you up when you need support.

You are my happy, Serenity, you are my world, you are the best thing in my life. Thank you for coming to me and giving me the privilege of being your momma. I will always work to be the best momma I can be for you, we may have rough times (your teenage years if you are anything like I was) but as long as we have each other Chicka we will make it through. I love you so, so very much!! Never ever forget that!








Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Call Me Crazy

I was having a conversation the other day with a truly delightful woman, several years my senior, about how different things are even since I was a child. The rash of teen pregnancies, drug use, gang violence, murders, and some other really yucky stuff that makes my heart hurt. She asked my opinion on how I thought on the issue of teens intentionally getting pregnant, or just flat out not having the knowledge to keep it from happening. I told her exactly what I thought, she asked my opinion after all, let's just say she was less than impressed. As I said she is roughly 80 so she grew up in a very different time, perhaps I should have little white lied it. My mom always tells me I am too blunt, I can't help it, I think I was born without that filter. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. She asked specifically if I knew how I would handle it with my own daughter later on down the line(she's only two, thankfully!). In no uncertain terms I told her I knew exactly how I would handle it, I will be talking to her regularly about sex and why she is worth not having sex with anyone, EVER. :-) No but seriously, we will not be having "the talk" just once, we will talk about it many times, and she will know that she can come to me. I also may have said something to the effect of, her first period or 15, whichever comes first, she will be on birth control.

At this point I am sure this woman is having a stroke, her face was pale and she was doing the "clutching her pearls" move.

Her: You are going to condone sexual activity!?!?!

Me: I did not say that.

Her (her voice is steadily rising in pitch): But putting her on birth control is basically giving her the go ahead.

Me (still quite calm): Umm no, that's not at all what it is, to me it is the smartest thing I could do. I was able to talk to my mother, I told her I thought I was ready and she took me that day to get birth control. I didn't have sex for some time after that, but if I had I wouldn't be risking pregnancy. I am not so gullible to think that if she is going to do it, no matter how closely I watch her, she will find a way.

Her: I...I just can't believe you are ok with this, that isn't right.

Me (getting a touch defensive): No, babies having babies is not right, making adult decisions without the proper knowledge to make those decisions is not right, not having an understanding ear to talk to is not right. Me being there for my girl is the most right thing in the world, and as I am her mother, I think the decision on how to raise her and when to discuss these thing is mine. But bet my girl doesn't have a baby in high school, making an already hard time in life almost impossible, thank you very much!

She left very shortly after that, I felt a tiny bit bad, but not really. I will do whatever I have to do to ensure that my daughter has the fullest, most enriched life filled with all possibilities for success that she can have, and while I understand babies are precious, believe me I love mine more than life, there is time for that.....Later.



What are your thoughts? Do you think I am being crazy, or too "progressive"? How will you be handling this when it comes, or how have you handled it already?


This was an A to Z Challenge post for C......stay tuned for more :-) Leave your link to your challenge posts too please, I would love to read them!!
 

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I have dreamed a dream, and now that dream is gone from me........

I think that is one of my all time favorite movie quotes. In part because I think Laurence Fishburne was absolute perfection for the role of Morpheus, and he delivers the line in a way that even after watching the movie 4,000 times I still get chills, but mostly because I believe this to be true in so many peoples lives. How many people let their dreams go because they are told they are impractical or unattainable. I worry over this, and the impact that such nay-sayers could have on my own daughters future aspirations and dreams. I know that in a perfect world the teachers in our school systems would not only have the ability but also the desire to nourish and encourage our children to dream in vivid color. To believe in themselves and believe in their dreams. I realize that as parents a large portion of the encouragement should come from us, and believe me my child has mommies encouragement in spades, and always will. I am also not so naive to think that at some point in her life, my precious, beautiful baby is going to decide that her friends know more than Momma. That is a scary thought. We all hope to raise our children with a strong moral compass and confidence in themselves and their abilities, and to follow their dreams.

I want my daughter to grow up knowing she can do anything she puts her mind to, and knowing that although some things take a little more work, and you may not always succeed the first try that sometimes it is the things that we have to work for that are the most worth having. I will encourage her in every way I can, and work to keep her dreams alive.

What are some of the activities you do with your children to foster their creativity? How do you help them to handle disappointments? I am open to ideas and am very excited to hear what you all do to help your children reach their dreams!

Here are some photos I shot of my daughter and my nephew having some fun. It is amazing how just some backyard fun opens up a whole new world to explore for a toddler. I love it!










Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

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