Procrastination and Players

I was going to do this post on sexual positions but I've made it pretty far in this challenge without offending too many people, so I figured I would stick with it. Maybe I'll grow some nuggets and do it for S.

I am the queen procrastinator. Not in all things and not nearly so badly as I was pre-Lala. It still pops up and says hey every once in a while though. I mean let's be real, I'm pretty sure today is R and I am just now getting P up. I was doing so good too........

Onwards and Upwards for a bit of fun for myself. I couldn't let "P" pass without throwing an ode to all of the Players. You know when they say "Don't hate the player, hate the game", that is total bullshit. Hate the player people, because these are some of the most insensitive, non-caring suckers on the planet, not forever but definitely for that period. We call that the "Payer Period" it's a phase, and most men/women mature and grow out of it. I am an expert on players. I have seriously met every kind of player out there, I am also not just a member, I am president of the fricking club. Yep, that's right, I am a player. I don't always mean to be, but I'm one of those chicks that gets bored, quick. I don't sleep around, that is a totally different kind of player. I am the type that I know 99% of the time that I am perfectly happy with the way life is, and then I'll get that "I'm lonely" feeling (happens to the best of us). So I meet someone, we talk, date a bit, and before you know it I feel like I'm suffocating. As I said in my earlier post, I don't have time to care about how you feel. I will distance myself, stop texting/calling, and just slowly cut ties. I am the unintentional player. I know it, I avoid situations where this situation may take place, or try to. I don't like hurting people, but I am also not a fake it type either. I won't stay in a situation where I am unhappy, been there done that, didn't even get a t-shirt. Some examples of the "other" players, just in case you haven't run into one, and do in the future.


The Playboy: Generally met in a bar, maybe sober at first, doesn't stay that way usually. Knows everyone in the place (someone who drinks a lot has no place in my life). Hot, and knows it. Rubs "elbows" with all of the waitresses and clientele. Sweet as can be, says all the right things, you want to believe there's a connection. There's not. Trust me, they aren't going to call you, I know, because I don't call people I met in the bar. You want to meet a nice guy, go to the library.


Mr. Suave: This guy is maybe a bit older than "The Playboy" and knows the game better. He is harder to pinpoint. So be careful. He also says all of those things that you have secretly wanted to hear, and you have met someplace (not the bar) that you wouldn't expect to find a date. This can catch you off guard. He will call you for a few weeks, you will damn near be head over heels, and then just like that.....nothing. Some advice, 9 times out of 10 if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Those are just two examples, right off the top of my head. Other warning signs that you are dealing with a player: No public outings, can only meet at your place (he either has a GF or is married), it is always late when he calls/texts, and the number one warning sign - you know nothing about him! Ladies, if you stop and think, I mean really think about what you know about this person and you can't even count enough actual facts to tick off on one hand, that's bad.


For you: Have you ever been a player? Even unintentionally, like myself. What other types of players have you come across, and where? Inquiring minds want to know?


This is all my opinion, I realize not all men are players, this post was all I had for "P". :-D

No, I won't have sex with you

I can't tell you how many times I have said these words. Especially since having my daughter. They come out of my mouth without thought most of the time. Very few people have actually been "allowed" into my little bubble. I have always known that aside from the very few people I have allowed get close enough to me to build friendships, they are forever friendships. Once you've been let in, I will pretty much lay my life down or you, that's the type of friend I am. Also if you have gotten close enough to me to be a "forever" part of my life, you must be good people.

Now to the point I was trying to make with the title. I met someone on Saturday. I actually went out for a bit (holy crap! I know). He was very good looking, had been in the service (always scores points if you have served), and we hit it off really well. As the night wore on, liquor was consumed, my judgement hazes just a tad when drinking is involved and I know it so I generally stick with whomever I came with and be good. I was good, I stuck with my friend, mostly. Hottie caught me alone a few times, we chatted and stuff. We ended up exchanging numbers, cool cool.

 Hottie texts me after I get home (it is incredibly late, I am buzzed and exhausted). We text back and forth a bit, I have apparently made an impression because he wants to see me now. "Want to cuddle?" he says. My response " Please don't misunderstand but you can't come over, and I will not be having sex with you". I think surely this is the end of it, I'm already thinking he's a player (I'm a bit jaded, what can I say). My phone ding dings about 3 minutes later, no kidding I had already peeled down and crawled in bed, "Just cuddling, no sex" he says. So here it is ladies, and this isn't directed at all men, but seriously do these guys think we are idiots!? Do women actually buy that line? I didn't. I didn't respond, shut the stupid phone off and went to bed.

I wake up to a few texts from him, all figuring I must have fallen asleep. Nothing creepy you know. But for real, I let him know I have a child, does he really not get why he can't come over? Maybe it's because he doesn't have kids, or the fact that I do isn't a big deal to him. I don't know but each time he texts I have had to find polite ways to put him off. It's not that I don't want to get to know him, it's just that it won't be happening at my house. You don't get to know where I live until I know you aren't crazy.

To be honest most people of the male variety have about a 2 week shelf life with me. I don't get too close, we don't meet the family, you don't meet my kid (I have friends that haven't met her), and when you stop amusing me I pretty much am done. I realize how bitchy that sounds, it's not like I have sex with them, it's just nice to have someone to hang with. The newness of it all is nice, but I have no plans of a relationship anytime soon, and 2 weeks seems to be a good expiration date for when the newness starts to turn into expectations and relationshipiness, no thanks.


This post was more of a ramble, sorry. For You: Do you have dating guidelines, certain things that absolutely, non-negotiable don't happen?