Just go with it
Some days you just have to go where the words take you, this post was going to be all about my two cohorts and I kidnapping Norman Reedus (with the Boondock Saints accent of course), Dane Cook because he is kind of hot and can be funny when he isn't being a jackhole, and perhaps Kevin James (the man may not be much to look at but he is funny as shit). Then the day went on and my brain took me other places so just go with it please.
There have been a lot of things, some important some not so much, bouncing around in my head the past several weeks. I have been feeling overwhelmed by school, even though I love it, by work (because my boss truly is the weirdest person I have ever met), and by life in general. I have been feeling inadequate in a lot of ways. Like I'm not measuring up, not to anybody else's standards, but to my own. This a long with a plethora of other things has been weighing on me. I feel itchy, you know that feeling you get when you are ready to get going but your life just isn't quite there yet. So I pace, a lot, and I feel out of sorts. I want to be through school, I want to have gotten aces in everything, I want to have a thriving business. I crave these things, but life at the moment just isn't ready for these things, perhaps because it knows I am not ready for all of those things, even though it feels as though I am. I am hoping that this "feeling" passes, and I can settle a bit. I have decided to just relax and go with it.
Something else that has not only been weighing on my brain but also my heart, is financial crap. Any single parent out there, and a good deal of non-single parentals know exactly what I mean with the financial "aww shit, how am I going to make it to payday". Well friends I'm NOT making it to payday, and this is a major problem. So it is with great unrest, because I love you all (all 3 of you that actually read my blog), and I don't want to disappoint you. But momma's got to pay the bills, and hard as I try, Integrity apparently doesn't have much monetary value. I have never been a give-away blog (no Christina, your give-away doesn't count cause it's funny as shit), or a review blog (not sure who would want to sponsor anything on my wittle bitty blog anyway. But apparently there is......shocking, I know. I feel kind of like a sell-out, I do, but here in the near future there may be popping up the occasional sponsored post. I apologize, but I gots to pay the bills. I hope you will still love me in the morning. Just go with it, please. :-)
In other news, once this whole A to Z Challenge is done I will be starting a word a week Blogapalooza. I realize that I truly do need something to keep me on this blogging track, because I have so enjoyed the evolution and feeling of writing so much. I will be setting the first word a week or so after the challenge ends (I will need a break) on a Friday, and I will have the post up by the next Friday, with the next weeks word. It will be any word, I may just throw darts at the dictionary, who knows, and the posts will be all over the place I'm sure. How that word makes me feel, what I think when I hear it, or even what it means to me, depends on the darted word I guess. If anyone is interested in taking part in the fun, a weekly post WILL NOT be mandatory, you can jump on and off the train whenever you like, please email me with any word ideas you may have that you think would be fun bloggy words, and if you might be interested in taking part. Even if you don't participate you can send me suggestions (please do). I will have a badge made up closer to time. I think it will be fun, so pass the word if you like.