Tuesday, April 10, 2012

If I ruled the World - I'm Batman

This post is for the humor, please don't read it and think I'm a sadist. I mean I kind of am, but this really is just for fun.

 I have the kind of Dad that people dream of having. He is quite possibly the coolest, most amazing person I have ever known. Me and my dad are a lot alike, in temperament, sense of humor, and we have some really deep discussions. The kind that if an average anybody walking by heard them they would probably wonder what the hell was wrong with us. Or more than likely think "wow, I have just been in the presence of awesomeness", because we are awesome.

A few weeks ago we had a conversation that was so funny I had to share. 

The conversation began with the fact that Detroit is headed downhill fast, I mean they are running out of money, or have already I'm not really sure. I said something to the effect of not liking to drive in the seedier parts of Detroit or it's surrounding seedy suburbs (I don't drive the most reliable car, and these are not places you want to break down in). 

Me: Driving there scares me, I mean you could get car-jacked at a stoplight, and then you'd be all stuck and alone in a bad neighborhood.

Dad: They don't bother "car-jacking" you anymore, they would just shoot you and take it.

And thus the conversation took off. I'm not going to "he said" "she said" that would be a long post, I'm just going to give you the rundown.  We have decided that it would be extremely beneficial to hire like 300 mercenaries to take out all of the big wig drug dealers and murderers, in one night. Can you imagine? In one night wiping out the main source of terror and corruption. And let's be real, why aren't these people considered terrorists and treated as such, they terrorize the good people every day. Then the 300 mercenaries morphed into 300 mercenaries dressed like Batman, yep, cause nothing is scarier to criminal types than a big bad-ass Batman showing up to do some justice.


 Then all of the smaller criminals would start freaking out that "Batman" must be real, because really who's going to believe that there were 300 people dressed as Batman. No I think it's more likely that their little guilt-riddled minds would think it was just one big bad mama-jamma.

We decided that there should be a committee to decide who to loan our mercenaries out to next, they would have to be some serious red, white, and blue blooded people, super pro-America. No corruption allowed.

I think this is why I would never get voted in to office of anything. That's why it would all have to go down in one night, that way if I ever was elected Governor or some such, it would all be done before they could recall it and boot me out of office. The government is so worried about terrorists in other countries, I want to know why they don't focus on the ones we have right here on American soil. If you sell drugs to kids, you're done. If you murder someone, you're done. If you touch a child, you are tortured, and then you are SO done. The police have lists, names, cell phones, addresses. It can be done.

So friends if you ever read this in the paper:

I was at your house all night......k?

If you ruled the world, even for one day, what would you do with the power given to you?? Would you be Batman?


  1. Hahaha! And technically, Batgirl, but that doesn't sound as bad-ass. You're Dad sounds like a cool dude, I'm scared of both of ya...but you do have my vote, fyi.

    It is sad to see that happening in a place of such a country of opportunity. I think most people give up to because they are powerless to the corruption and nothing short of batman could stop them.

    Thanks for being my A-Z inspiration;)

  2. If you need a lift to and from the city, give me a ring. I'm sure I can scrounge up a Batmobile.

  3. Okay. This entry totally inspired a me to write about a recent trip that involved driving around Detroit. I will link to you when I write it!

  4. Love this post! And how you describe your relationship with your dad.

    Nice to meet you, and I hope you're enjoying the Challenge!

    A to Z Challenge Host

  5. What a fun post. I love Batman. And the new angsty ones are so much more fun than the cheesy 60s one.

  6. Funny post.Glad to see your post Angel.
    Thanks for inspire me.sell my house

  7. haha. funny post! Love that you included that newspaper clipping, too.
    Happy A-Zing!


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