S, T, U, V, and W

Some Tears fall Unending, Varying, but never to Waver

There are some tears in the heart that never mend. There are some things that happen that even time can not heal. I know that seams very pessimistic of me, but for me it is the truth. 

I won't go into the whole story because it would be a book. Fourth of July is one of the saddest days of the year for me. Most people barbeque, and party, shoot fireworks and spend their day oohing and aahing. I generally spend mine with tears and woe. This may seem silly, especially to anyone who has never owned a dog, but I had a dog, the dog, if there is such a thing as a doggie soul-mate he was it. I was there when he and his litter mates were born, I helped get the gunk off of them when their momma couldn't keep up. I helped feed them and raise them to the age that they could go to good homes. But one, he stole my heart from the first. He was the biggest in the litter, and the cutest little pudge-ball you could ever see. He followed me everywhere, and I mean everywhere, I couldn't take a bath without him crying at the door. We had an instant bond. I wasn't really able to have a dog where I was living, my roommate had two already, but man did I fall hard for this little pup. He slept with me, watched out the window if I went somewhere without him. At one point someone expressed interest in him, and decided to take him for the night as a trial run. My poor pup cried all night, and so did I. The man brought him back the next day and said he thought this wonderful pup had already chosen his owner. Me. And so, unable to be separated from me, he became mine. Aries, my boy, my best friend. He would snuggle with me all day when I had to work late nights. He rarely left my side, and no matter where he was or what he was chasing, when I called he came. 

Words can not describe what Aries meant to me. Having him in my life was a blessing. I don't think there will ever be another Aries. I'm not sure you have that type of bond twice in a lifetime. 

Several years ago, after my ex and I had broken up, Aries was staying with him. My ex had Aries brother Ryver, my other little buddy, and they were happier together. I made a difficult choice and let him go. I could visit anytime and I wanted what was best for my pup. I didn't visit enough, it was difficult, and I let discomfort keep me away for far too long. One fourth of July some kids in the apartment complexes behind where my ex lived were shooting off fireworks. One of them landed on the top of the building and it caught fire. The boys were sleeping in the bedroom, and my ex was out talking with his cousin. When my ex realized what was happening he ran and broke in through the front window (very large, thick window), risking his life to save our babies. It was too late. The fireman had to drag my ex out of the building. The paramedics say that it just got so hot that they just quit breathing. That they didn't wake up and felt no pain. The thought of them panicking eats at me still. So on Fourth of July I lost my two best little friends, my sons, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them. There is a hole in my heart that I believe will never fully heal from the loss. My heart cries for them.

So some tears are shed for a lifetime, sometimes varying in the strength of the grief, but never wavering, never diminishing. Some tears fall unending......

I realize I totally cheated by using one post for all of these letters, but I am determined to finish this challenge whatever it takes. I imagine they probably already booted my ass off the list, but I am still going to see it through.I have been in school and working 6-7 days a week the passed few weeks and studying for an exam, please forgive me for flaking out on this whole thing a bit.