I have Fybromyalgia. I don't talk about it much, here or in real life, because I won't allow it to define me. Every once in a while though (more often than I like) this disease affects me and the way I am able to live my life. I hate it, and most days I ignore it. Some days though, like "Dr." days it becomes hard to ignore. I had a doctors appointment last Wednesday, and I wasn't able to see my regular doc, I had to see his son. His son is a partner in the practice, and according to the rest of my family that has seen him, he is much nicer. Yeah not so much. I have serious anxiety over going to the doctor, I mean to the point that aside from a few necessary trips to the E.R. and an urgent care, I hadn't been to the doctor in about six years, maybe more. They make me nervous, they always want to poke you with needles, and from my experience they are mostly idiots. Well I have to say Dr. Dick didn't disappoint. He was not only an idiot, but an arrogant one, double whammy. Here is a shaved down version of how the appointment went.
Dr. D: (After the initial "hi, how are you's" he looks at Serenity) Do you have more children?
Me: No, she is my only one.
Dr. D: Are you married?
Me: No, I'm a single mom *Pause* Does that matter??
Dr. D: Yes, it does. *Looks down his nose at me*
Dr. D: *All types of sarcastic* It's called taking a social history (yeah that totally explained it asshole)
Dr. D: Do you drink or smoke?
Me: No..(now I was getting ready to say that I don't drink, but that I did smoke a little, trying to quit).
Dr. D: *Overly loud, condescending tone* You don't smoke?!?
Me: Yes I do, but I am working on quitting. I don't drink though.
Dr. D: *Still condescending* Not even socially?!?!?!
Me: Ummm, no I don't. --I am getting put-out at this point, because I thought for sure that we had just established that I was a single, working parent. Who has time to go out and drink??? Besides that, I really thought this was an appointment to talk about getting my Fibro back on track, not to discuss my personal life.
Dr. D: Do you do drugs? (he is asking all of these questions while wrenching my head from side to side, really nice experience)
Me: No, I have a child, and I wouldn't anyway. (I stop and think) I take what your father has prescribed me.
Dr. D -who now has a stethoscope in his ears, shoves the listening end in my face and says: WHAT?
Me - *Deep, cleansing breath* I take the Motrin and the cyclobenzaprine that he gave me.
Dr. D nods and continues to not really listen to what I have to say. This is where it really gets good. Dr. Dick proceeds to tell me that there isn't really anything wrong with me, that he thinks my pain stems from a combination of my Fibro and the stress of being a single mom............my jaw hit the floor. I'm sure you didn't just say what it sounded like you said....surely. I have never been more offended at the doctor than I was at that moment. His little student assistant guy even looked at him funny. I realize that lifting her and carrying her can put some physical strain on my body, but it would surely be that way whether I was married or single. I wanted to deck him. Then I tell him I don't like the cyclobenzaprine, it is too sedating at times, makes it hard to sleep others, and doesn't help the muscle spasms which is why it was prescribed. He tells me that he will write me a script for a lower dosage. At this point I am so upset that all I can think about is getting out of his office. He didn't come back, he sent his student to give me the scripts and the note to go have x-rays done. X-rays I don't need mind you. I know that there is no curve in my neck, that there is arthritis in there as well. I also know that the root of my problem lies in my muscles, which an x-ray won't see. That's where he wants to start, apparently I was under the mistaken impression that my insurance paid for MRI's and things of that nature(which they do) but you would totally think it was coming out of his pocket by the way he acted when I expressed a desire to have one done. I have to have his request for my insurance to pay for it though, so here I am jumping through more hoops, when all I want to do is get a better picture of what is going on, that way I can make some progress to fix it. An MRI would help my Chiropractor as well, but since he isn't my primary doctor it doesn't matter if he thinks I should have one done.
Going to the doctor is incredibly frustrating sometimes, I sometimes wish I could just have bionic parts and call it a day. But alas, I imagine robot-Angel may be frowned upon just a bit. Who knows.
I hope you all have a wonderful week!!