I have been trying to write this post ALL day. My beautiful, wonderful, amazingly stubborn, nap-resistant daughter had other plans, lol. The whole premise of the post was going to be how I need to take more time to write, and that when/if Baby Girl actually does take naps I should not be solely focused on the amount of stuff I can get done in that time. That it's ok to take a mommy time-out sometimes. Writing is very therapeutic, and helps me to deal with the stresses of my life. It gives me an outlet, I am notorious for bottling everything up, letting it sit and rot in my gut. Until I literally just breakdown, and of course it is always the most ridiculously small thing that is the final straw. I have been feeling a bit melancholy and bluesy the past few days. I try very hard to keep my post fairly humorous and upbeat, but I am just not feeling that today. I have a lot of disappointment and even rage that has been building inside me. The only thing that gets me through these moments, is my baby girl. Even when she is being a total crabbers, I just can't help but smile. Her father on the other hand is one of the largest contributors to my anger. I know it isn't only his fault, trust me I am a pro at the whole self-deprecation thing. Seriously though, I haven't seen him since the night I conceived Baby Girl.
I'm not going to go into the whole thing here, I am actually planning a series of posts about the beginning of my new life. I am going to break them up into several because it is a looong story. I will also hopefully feature my first guest blogger! She will be doing a post about her take on becoming the step-mother to a 9-year old, and what it has been like meshing into a "ready-made family".
On a lighter note Baby Girl has been trying out for the crash test derby team all day. After weeks of confident, stable cruising, she has been super wobbly today. I was unaware that you could have so many heart attacks in one day, I swear it has been a whole day of panic. I chase her all day anyway, but today, she would fall and the dreaded soul-crushing cry would closely follow. She never falls when she is standing next to a pile of pillows, oh no, she has to make sure she falls somewhere she is going to conk her head. Every time she fell I would jump towards her just a half second too late, of course, and every time it happens I get that full body shocky tingle reaction. I swear I have had 100 strokes today, and yet here I am ready to do it all over tomorrow. :-P So there is my contribution to the blogosphere, I hope you all are having a great week!!
Stay tuned for The Beginning .................