Sunday, April 1, 2012
Age of Allowance
No, I don't mean money. I mean living intentionally, allowing ourselves as parents to focus on ourselves every once in a while. Sounds easy right? As any parent knows, it's not. From the moment my daughter took her first breath my world shifted. There was no more time for my wants or desires, no more thought about where I wanted to be, my entire life and everything in it became focused solely on this little beauty.
Over the past two and a half years I have been slowly realizing that ignoring myself is not a good way to go through life. I still have guilt when I do have some me time, or when I have to work all day and have a late class too. I'm working on it. This year isn't just about me, even though it feels that way sometimes, it's about doing what I have to do to create a better life for both of us. I made a commitment to myself and my girl, to allow myself to do what I have to do to ensure a wonderful life for both of us. I am allowing myself to pursue my passion. To focus on myself and my growth. It took just over two years but I am finally seeing that even though it is hard, putting myself first sometimes isn't a sin. I don't need to feel guilty for going to school (still working on that part), that I should be proud of myself. I work, I go to school, and I mommy like nobodies business. The time that I am away causes me to make the time that I am home that much more meaningful and special. It's not like I am gone for days at a time, but giving up bedtime story snuggle time was/is difficult, impromptu park dates have to be more planned, losing weekends when I have Saturday Sunday classes. It takes a lot, it is tough more often than not, and I miss my time with my girl. Allowing myself to begin building a better life isn't easy, but it is the second best thing that I have ever done. I am proud, I am working my butt off, and I am loving it. I know that for every minute I don't have now, there will be hours later on. Hours of less stress, and more quality time in our lives, a career that will better our lives. It's worth it, I'm worth it.
What are you allowing in your life? Do you do something just for you? Please share.....